I'm always a big fan of if you approach somebody politely about something and you're not a nudge - you're just pretty honest and simple, my kind of philosophy is that I'm not afraid of 'no,' and that's way different than 'I won't take no for an answer.

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was Hang up, I got it!

Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it's a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it's a frilly bookmark.

I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it.

Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there.

My kind of gay, meeting a woman and falling in love, is a different experience because it wasn't anything about 'Oh, I've always been gay and I'm breaking the chains.

Like a lot of women, I'm bisexual. Once I have sex with you - bye!