Life is a cruel, horrible joke and I am the punch line.

Sometimes I feel like I've got my nose pressed up against the window of a bakery, only I'm the bread.

All my life I've been seeing things through the culture. My father, for instance, was the press's bad boy. People really hated him. He was always a big flirt. He was always in trouble - going bankrupt, whatever.

In the Fifties, my parents were known as 'America's sweethearts'. Their pictures graced the covers of all the newspapers. They were the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston of their day.

I was street smart, but unfortunately the street was Rodeo Drive.

I can't say that period talk is my favorite bonding arena. But I also think it's sort of funny.

I quote fictional characters, because I'm a fictional character myself!