When I was younger I always thought, 'If I were ever a comedian I'd make it like a rock concert.' I wanted to generate that type of enthusiasm and excitement.

I have to go out for lunch and dinner because I can't cook. I need a woman to come and save me from my cooking.

Comics don't like to see other comics do well.

My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.

I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.

My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh.

So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason.