Everyone has the gift of laughter inside of them. All the world is a prop.
It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.
My manager has a car payment, so I work every night.
I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.
I had a Neighborhood Crime Watch sign in my dorm wall in college. People would come in and laugh at it. 'Where did you get it?' 'I took it. How good is their Neighborhood Crime Watch if they can't even watch their sign?'
I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.