I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.

My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh.

The street in the center of town was Butts road. I stole the sign and told the audience, this must be where the assholes live. I also had a Neighborhood Crime Watch - it takes about 20 seconds to break into a house but it took me an hour to unbolt this sign.

When I was younger I always thought, 'If I were ever a comedian I'd make it like a rock concert.' I wanted to generate that type of enthusiasm and excitement.

I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.

It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.

I have to go out for lunch and dinner because I can't cook. I need a woman to come and save me from my cooking.