I might have been able to make it as a pitcher except for one thing: I had a rather awkward motion and every time I brought my left arm forward I hit myself in the ear.

We've got to learn how to stay out of triple plays.

Bobby Brown reminds me of a fellow who's been hitting for 12 years and fielding one.

Once someone gave me a picture and I wrote 'Do good in school.' I looked up and the guy was 78 years old

I love signing autographs. I'll sign anything but veal cutlets. My ballpoint slips on veal cutlets.

He's a smart-assed kid who's always sassin' people and gettin' away with it.

Left-handers have more enthusiasm for life. They sleep on the wrong side of the bed, and their head gets more stagnant on that side.