I couldn't have done it without my players.

I would not admire hitting against Ryne Duren, because if he ever hit you in the head you might be in the past tense.

Left-handers have more enthusiasm for life. They sleep on the wrong side of the bed, and their head gets more stagnant on that side.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon.

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.

All that analysis is well and good, but what I need right now is a left-handed batter who can hit the ball over the shortstop's head.