The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

If you ran a delicatessen store, you would want to be the best delicatessen store, wouldn't you? Well, that's how I feel about the Yankees.

What's the use of askin' a man to execute if he can't execute?

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you're older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.

I might have been able to make it as a pitcher except for one thing: I had a rather awkward motion and every time I brought my left arm forward I hit myself in the ear.