Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.

Well, the fella I got on there is hitting pretty good and I know he can make that throw, and if he don't make it that other fella I got coming has shown me a lot, and if he can't I have my guy and I know what he can do. On the other hand, the guy's not around now. And, well, this guy may be able to do it against left-handers if my guy ain't strong enough. I know one of my guys is gonna do it.

Pardon me, Mr. Craig, but how are we going to defense Mr. McCovey... in the upper deck or the lower deck?

If you're so smart, let's see you get out of the Army.

Gettin' good players is easy. Gettin' 'em to play together is the hard part.

If anybody needs me, I'm in my room being embalmed.

I broke in with four hits and the writers promptly declared they had seen the new Ty Cobb. It took me only a few days to correct that impression.