They got a lot of kids now whose uniforms are so tight, especially the pants, that they cannot bend over to pick up ground balls. And they don't want to bend over in television games because in that way there is no way their face can get on the camera.

If anybody needs me, I'm in my room being embalmed.

Whenever I decided to release a guy, I always had his room searched first for a gun. You couldn't take any chances with some of them birds.

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don't drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren't speaking and I said I'll take that drink.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

Best thing wrong with Jack Fisher is nothing.

The way our luck has been lately, our fellas have been getting hurt on their days off.