I always feel the most validated and confident being around people that I find funny - having Fred Armisen laugh at a scene or Bill Hader or Seth Meyers give me a compliment.

Your hair is so white now it can talk back to the police.

Paris is so beautiful. Mr. President, you should really think about going there sometime.

There's so much more bad information than good information out there - everybody's got something to say and it's usually wrong.

I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school?

Hillary has her work cut out for her. Her Democratic challengers are a 'Who's Who' of 'who's that?' Jim Webb, Lincoln Chafee, Silas Phelps, Peter Wilks... now those last two were characters from The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. You didn't even notice, did you?

Let's give it up for the Secret Service. I don't want to be too hard on those guys. You know, because they're the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot.