Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season.

Jerry Krause must have pictures of his boss's wife having sex with a monkey.

Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them.

One thing about being famous is the people around you, you pay all their bills so they very rarely disagree with you because they want you to pick up the check.

What I told [my teammates] after the game was I'm just fortunate [for] my 16 years because, this [injury] can happen every single night you go out and play... It can be over in one instant, so you should appreciate everyday.

I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking - and that's all that golf is - then you are officially fat.

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.