Most sportswriters don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.

If you can't slam with the best, then jam with the rest.

It's kinda great to see the Celtics doin well again cuz that was so much fun in my day to go to the Boston Garden and they spit at you and throw things at you and talk about your mom. It sounds like dinner at Kenny Smith's house.

I don't think of myself as giving interviews. I just have conversations. That gets me in trouble.

I don't mess with that cat. I'm pretty sure he carries a blade under his jersey.

Everything gets blamed on the Clintons, every single thing in this world. I think Bill Clinton shot JFK, too.

Any time a little midget does something like this, you gotta give him a 10!.