Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn't get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

The older I get, the faster I was.

I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking - and that's all that golf is - then you are officially fat.

My wife's married. I'm not.

You know what's amazing to me? America. There have been so many people who have stepped up, and I'm just proud to be an American. Yeah, there were some mistakes made, but I don't play the blame game. Let's move forward and rebuild New Orleans.

Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex.