The older I get, the faster I was.

I think the biggest problem is parents are so concerned with being friends with their kids. You're not their friend. You're their parent.

I didnt wear the pink panties because I didnt want America going crazy with excitement.

It ain't like we're curing cancer or anything, we're watching basketball.

I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking - and that's all that golf is - then you are officially fat.

The word conservative means discriminatory practically. It's a form of political discrimination. What do the Republicans run on? Against gay marriage and for a war that makes no sense. A war that was based on faulty intelligence. That's all they ever talk about. That and immigration. Another discriminatory argument for political gain.

I'm not a role model... Just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids.