Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them.

Everything gets blamed on the Clintons, every single thing in this world. I think Bill Clinton shot JFK, too.

I don't have time to put up with the politics. Who's a Democrat? Who's a Republican? Who's liberal? Who's conservative? Man, can my daughter just go to a school and not get killed? Can these people get a good job? That's what I'm concerned about.

I think the biggest problem is parents are so concerned with being friends with their kids. You're not their friend. You're their parent.

I'm afraid of the skeletons in my closet. I've got a whole cemetery full of them.

Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last 50 years and they're still poor.

I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking - and that's all that golf is - then you are officially fat.