I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking - and that's all that golf is - then you are officially fat.

This place? Nothing positive. OK, I want to say something positive. It's positively a dump.

We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic.

I read that heavy drinking is bad for your health. I decided I better stop reading.

The meek may inherit the earth, but they wont get the ball from me.

Well, all I can say is that people know I'm not saying anything out of malice.

There's no medical term for what I've got.