One thing about being famous is the people around you, you pay all their bills so they very rarely disagree with you because they want you to pick up the check.

I read that heavy drinking is bad for your health. I decided I better stop reading.

Curling is not a sport. I called my grandmother and told her she could win a gold medal because they have dusting in the Olympics now.

I don't know anything about Angola, but Angola's in trouble.

Sometimes I have to criticize guys to try to make it fun, I mean, I'm out there trying to bust other people. I want all these guys to do well, but when they do something stupid or don't play well, I try not to kill 'em, I try to make 'em laugh a little bit.

Those Grizzlies are more like pandas.

I'm never embarassed.