Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.

Do what is absolutely you and nobody else.

I despise those shallow religious comics. Dennis the Menace, for instance, is the most shallow. When they show him praying - I just can't stand that sort of thing, talking to God about some cutesy thing that he'd done during the day. I don't think Hank Ketcham has any deep knowledge of things like that.

I fall in love with any girl who smells of library paste.

Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

How can we lose when we're so sincere?

A beep on the nose is a sign of great affection.