If you're going to draw a comic strip every day, you're going to have to draw on every experience in your life.

Have you ever known anyone who was happy? And was still in his right mind, I mean.

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.

Life is too short not to live it up a little!

I love America. It's Americans I can't stand.

This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.

The rain washed away my pitcher's mound... I'm a pitcher without a mound... I'm a lost soul... I'm like a politician out of office." "Or a sailor without an ocean..." "Or a boy without a girl.