I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.

Every night it's the same... I have supper in my red dish and drinking water in my yellow dish... Tonight I think I'll have my supper in the yellow dish and my drinking water in the red dish. Life is too short not to live it up a little!

What happened to fun?" "Our insurance doesn't cover it!

Sometimes, when you walk by the home of the girl you love, you can see her standing by the window... She waves at you, and you wave back... But it's her grandmother.

What's this? That little red-haired girl dropped her pencil... Gee... It's got teeth marks all over it... She nibbles her pencil... She's human!

You can't write a term paper before breakfast.