How is the birdhouse coming along, Charlie Brown?" "Well, I'm a lousy carpenter, I can't nail straight, I can't saw straight and I always split the wood... I'm nervous, I lack confidence, I'm stupid, I have poor taste and absolutely no sense of design... So, all things considered, it's coming along okay!

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

The only time a dog gets complimented is when he doesn't do anything.

Love makes you do strange things.

What happened to fun?" "Our insurance doesn't cover it!

There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.

Happiness is a warm puppy.