The worst part of it is you don't know if he's barking at an owl, the moon or a burglar!" "That's one of the drawbacks of a limited vocabulary!

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people...religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin!

The best theology is probably no theology; just love one another.

I don't think God wants to be worshiped. I think the only pure worship of God is by loving one another, and I think all other forms of worship became a substitute for the love that we should show one another.

You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?

I fall in love with any girl who smells of library paste.