Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

Schroeder, do you think I'm beautiful?" "I think you're the most beautiful girl the world has ever known..." "You hate me, don't you?

A tragic life is romantic when it happens to somebody else.

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.

In the Book of Life, The answers aren't in the back.

I feel sorry for little babies... When a little baby is born into this cold world, he's confused! He's frightened! He needs something to cheer him up... The way I see it, as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!

Five hundred years from now, who'll know the difference?!