It won't do you any good to run if you're running the wrong way. I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.

What happened to fun?" "Our insurance doesn't cover it!

Sometimes, when you're really depressed, all you want to do is nothing. All you want to do is lean your head on your arm, and stare into space. Sometimes this can go on for hours. If you're unusually depressed, you may have to change arms.

The secret to speed-reading is moving your lips faster.

If I were a better artist, I'd be a painter, and if I were a better writer, I'd write books.. but I'm not, so I draw cartoons!

I despise those shallow religious comics. Dennis the Menace, for instance, is the most shallow. When they show him praying - I just can't stand that sort of thing, talking to God about some cutesy thing that he'd done during the day. I don't think Hank Ketcham has any deep knowledge of things like that.

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.