It won't do you any good to run if you're running the wrong way. I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.

Charlie Brown: "Life is just too much for me... I've been confused right from the day I was born... I think the whole trouble is that we're thrown into life too fast... We're not really prepared..." Linus: "What did you want... A chance to warm up first?"

That stupid Charlie Brown! He had the nerve to say I'm not perfect!" "So I suppose you hit him, huh?" "Rats! I knew I forgot something!

There sure are a lot of these 'instant' products on the market. Instant coffee, instant tea, instant pudding, instant cereal... instant dislike.

The only time a dog gets complimented is when he doesn't do anything.

You know what Oscar Wilde said, ma'am? He said, "nothing that is worth knowing can be taught". Nothing personal, ma'am... Carry on.