Only in math can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.

I don't think God wants to be worshiped. I think the only pure worship of God is by loving one another, and I think all other forms of worship became a substitute for the love that we should show one another.

One night I was sitting listening to some Hank Williams songs - and they'll change your life in a hurry.

My mind reels with sarcastic replies.

If life were a camera, I'd have the lens cap on.

Can't you see me as king of the Hereford ranchers, Lucy?" "Oh, I can see you, all right... I can see you riding out on your beautiful palomino checking the herd... There you sit, silhouetted against the evening sky... Sucking your thumb and holding that stupid blanket!

Never, ever, ever give up.