Never set your stomach for a jelly-bread sandwich until you're sure there's some jelly!

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. "I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron.

When no one loves you, you have to pretend that everyone loves you.

Life is full of choices, but you never get any!

Wouldn't it be nice if our lives were like VCRs , and we could 'fast forward' through the crummy times?

Snoopy (musing on his rooftop): Good Grief! Is it November already? My life is going by too fast. I think someone pushed the "Fast Forward" button.