Never set your stomach for a jelly-bread sandwich until you're sure there's some jelly!

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

In life, it's not where you go, it's who you travel with.

I feel sorry for little babies... When a little baby is born into this cold world, he's confused! He's frightened! He needs something to cheer him up... The way I see it, as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!

The worst part of it is you don't know if he's barking at an owl, the moon or a burglar!" "That's one of the drawbacks of a limited vocabulary!

There's no sense in doing a lot of barking if you don't really have anything to say.

I love America. It's Americans I can't stand.