I love humanity, it's people I don't like.

There's no sense in doing a lot of barking if you don't really have anything to say.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and wonder if my life would be different if I had to do it over... Then a voice comes to me out of the dark that says, "boy, there's an original thought!

I want to know about life! I want some real answers..." "Five." "Five?!" "I thought that was a pretty good answer!

Life is full of choices, but you never get any!

How can we lose when we're so sincere?

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport.