Life is full of choices, but you never get any!

One moment, please... We interrupt our regular program to bring you this special bulletin: It's a nice day outside.

Sometimes I wonder how you can stand being just a dog..." "You play with the cards you're dealt... Whatever that means.

People shouldn't be embarrassed just because they get caught acting a little silly.

You can't write a term paper before breakfast.

Today is my grandfather's birthday." "How old is he?" "Sixty-three. It's hard to believe he was once a human being.

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.