What if everyone in the whole world suddenly decided to run away from his problems?" "Well, at least we'd all be running in the same direction!

Empty?! You took all the cookies!" "They were crying to get out of the jar... Cookies get claustrophobia too, you know!

One of Beethoven's favorite dishes was macaroni and cheese. The girl I marry must be able to make good macaroni and cheese..." "How did Beethoven feel about cold cereal?

A whole stack of memories never equal one little hope.

Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

I've always been criticized, right from the beginning! Right from the very first day I was born... They said I wasn't right for the part!

I despise those shallow religious comics. Dennis the Menace, for instance, is the most shallow. When they show him praying - I just can't stand that sort of thing, talking to God about some cutesy thing that he'd done during the day. I don't think Hank Ketcham has any deep knowledge of things like that.