All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog.

I was jumping rope. Everything was fine. And then suddenly everything seemed so futile.

I’m torn between the desire to create and the desire to destroy.

What's this? That little red-haired girl dropped her pencil... Gee... It's got teeth marks all over it... She nibbles her pencil... She's human!

Only in math can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.

Empty?! You took all the cookies!" "They were crying to get out of the jar... Cookies get claustrophobia too, you know!

No one would have been invited to dinner so often as Jesus was unless he were interesting and had a sense of humor.