Don't be a leaf... Be a tree!

What happened to fun?" "Our insurance doesn't cover it!

This is my report on how to live... They say the best way is just to live one day at a time... If you try to live seven days at a time, the week will be over before you know it.

On a beautiful day like this it would be best to stay in bed so you wouldn't get up and spoil it!

Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. "I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron.

I've been thinking... Maybe you're a mockingbird... Mockingbirds imitate the songs of other birds... No, I've never heard of any copyright problems.

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.