Sometimes, when you walk by the home of the girl you love, you can see her standing by the window... She waves at you, and you wave back... But it's her grandmother.

All of earth's creatures have, hidden within their beings, a wild uncontrollable urge to punt!

Snoopy didn't start off being a Beagle. It's just that 'beagle' is a funny word.

Never give your heart to a blockhead.

The only time a dog gets complimented is when he doesn't do anything.

Nobody likes me!" "I wish I could like you, Charlie Brown, but I can't... If I were to like you, it would be admitting that I was lowering my standards! You wouldn't want me to do that, would you? Be reasonable! I have standards that I have set up for liking people, and you just don't meet those standards! It wouldn't be reasonable for me to like you!" "I hate myself for being so unreasonable!

I love humanity, it's people I don't like.