All I wanted to do was be a hero... But do I ever get to be a hero? All I ever get to be is the stupid goat!" "Don't be discouraged, Charlie Brown... In this life we live, there are always some bitter pills to be swallowed..." "If it's all the same with you, I'd rather not renew my perscription!

I feel sorry for little babies... When a little baby is born into this cold world, he's confused! He's frightened! He needs something to cheer him up... The way I see it, as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!

Why is it that you don't love me?" "Sometimes I wish I knew..." "Don't anybody tell him!!

Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

What happened to fun?" "Our insurance doesn't cover it!

Cartooning will destroy you; it will break your heart.

You know what Oscar Wilde said, ma'am? He said, "nothing that is worth knowing can be taught". Nothing personal, ma'am... Carry on.