Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. "I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron.

Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance, because a friend is someone who loves you in spite of your faults.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.

The world is filled with unmarried marriage counselors.

Going to our school is an education in itself which is not to be confused with actually getting an education.

Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything.

Bob Dylan will be thirty years old this month..." "That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard.