It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.

The best theology is probably no theology; just love one another.

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.

Humor is proof that everything is going to be all right with God nevertheless.

A kiss on the nose does much toward turning aside anger.

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.