Sometimes you lie in bed at night, and you don't have a single thing to worry about...That always worries me!

You know what Oscar Wilde said, ma'am? He said, "nothing that is worth knowing can be taught". Nothing personal, ma'am... Carry on.

That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.

Your stupidity is appalling!" "Most stupidity is!

I want to know about life! I want some real answers..." "Five." "Five?!" "I thought that was a pretty good answer!

It won't do you any good to run if you're running the wrong way. I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.

Do you have your own room, Charlie Brown?" "Oh, yes... I have a very nice room." "I hope you realize that you won't always have your own room... Someday you'll get drafted or something, and you'll have to leave your room forever!" "Why do you tell me things like that?" "It's on a list I've made up for you... I call it, Things You Might As Well Know!