The only time a dog gets complimented is when he doesn't do anything.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

I can hear my heart beating. I can hear my stomach growling. I can hear my teeth grinding and my joints creaking. My body's so noisy, I can't sleep.

No matter what anyone says, it's much worse to be unloved than it is to be lost in the woods." "Sometimes, I think you've been lost in the woods all your life, Charlie Brown.

I love people; it's mankind I can't stand.

Linus: It was a short summer, Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown: And it looks like it's gonna be a looong winter.

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.