I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies.

I refuse to grow up. I won't become the adult guy.

Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.

I've always been a little skittish about death. On certain days I'm okay with it. On other days it's like, "Really? I have to? No, man, not me."

The paramedic called the press and sold me like a loaf of bread. This was news, and he wanted to be the one to report it.

I'm 0 for 3 with marriage - the scoreboard doesn't lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers.

You make a choice to win and you win...