You can't not be a little different from others and be successful for three decades.

I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That's how I describe myself.

Dad kept us out of school, but school comes and goes. Family is forever.

Shut your evil mucus-hole you truth terrorist. You LOSE every time a mirror implodes from your barbed and gristle image.

Early on, I used to think it was really cool and macho to jump out of the car and tackle the bad guy. But then when you see the stunts in the movie, you realize it could've been a lady in a poncho.

We're going to shoot one Polaroid per show. I'm going to sign this before it even develops because I know that once it develops with my signature on it, it's worth a fortune. I'll make this a work of magic warlock art.

I'm bi-winning. I win here, I win there.