I was bangin’ 7 gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll

You can't criticize Bob Dylan's singing. You have to respect Billy Joel as a brilliant poet. You can't tell me there's a better rock band ever than Led Zeppelin. And if you speak during the Eagles' "Last Resort," we're done. I'm just asking for seven minutes. This stuff really matters, you know.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

I'm not wearing a golden sombrero.

Uncertainty is a sign of humility, and humility is just the ability or the willingness to learn.

The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don't have one.

Every plan I have is the best plan in the room.