I'm not wearing a golden sombrero.

I dare anyone to spend 10 years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre's hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.

I'm tired of ignoring that I march to a different beat.

The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.

I think what drove me insane for a long time is feeling like I hadn't earned most of what I achieved because it came so fast.

You have this great big fantasy life, and it looks like a non-stop 24/7 party. But what do you do when you get to the end of the Internet and there's nothing left to buy? There's just a picture of Wayne Newton flipping you off.

For now, I'm just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view.