... some of the best sex I can barely remember.

A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?

That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.

Next to fat babies, midgets are my favorite things to hold. I love them so much, and I want to help them to do adult things like drive cars, Jet-Ski, and lip-synch. I’m in awe of their little limbs, their large craniums, and their medicine-ball asses. I love the little baby steps they take while shifting their weight from side to side, and the fact that when you knock one over accidentally, he flails like a turtle on its back that can’t get up right away.

Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.

Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.

[Gordon Ramsay] knows about being bullied, because look at the size of him.