Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.

How do you think jail was?! I got face raped by a woman... and I think I may have liked it.

He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.

I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.

Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.

Let's all help each other be a little bit better at being human beings.

If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.