Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?

Who's the president on the $100 bill? I don't know. I don't need to know because I don't use cash. I only use travelers checks.

My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.

There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.

Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.'

Women don't have to be jealous of other women.

I don't understand what apps are on my phone. Why do they ask for passwords? Why do they all ask for different passwords? It's so frustrating that I end up just reading a book every time I try to go online.