First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.

I still have to work on my weight and some of my other demons.

People need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, 'I may be bad, honey, but I'm not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.'

Everybody laughs when fatty falls down.

First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.