Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not exempt.

In the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!

I still have to work on my weight and some of my other demons.

I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

People need a time to laugh. It's up to us to bonk ourselves on the head and slip on a banana peel so the average guy can say, 'I may be bad, honey, but I'm not as much of an idiot as that guy on the screen.'