Bowling really was a big American sport in the '50s, '60s, and '70s, and then it kind of died off in the '80s.

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We're the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.

Both my parents recognized early on that I wanted to do something in comedy, and they were really supportive. They're the ones who bought me Steve Martin records and let me watch R-rated comedies long before they probably should have.

If you're going into stand-up, you're hyper-analyzing the world and asking as many questions about a thing as you possibly can so you can figure out the ultimate nature of that thing.

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.

I spent a lot of time bowling as a kid, mostly because I grew up in bowling alleys. They were kind of my playgrounds.