I honestly think hipsters eat with their assholes because they consume everything wrong.

I had a personal blog, but why does anyone care that I went shopping for hats?

I think doing the podcast may have been one of the best career decisions I've ever made in my life.

With stand-up, there's a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.

I've been out of work so many times in my life that relying too much on just one job is terrifying.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.

Sober strip clubs are horrible. When you are sober you see the matrix code behind a strip club. You're paying girls to pretend to like you until you run out of money so they can walk away.