Steve Martin said that philosophy is good for comedy because it screws up your thinking just enough, and I agree with that. Being forced to see life's metadata is good training for looking for interesting angles on a topic.

If I wasn't acting or doing stand-up, I would be in animation. Or if I had the discipline I might studies physics.

A lot of people complain in the year 2003 that it's not the world of tomorrow as foreseen in the 1950s. 'Where are the flying cars?' people say. 'Where are the robots who bring us blue drinks and warn us of danger?' Alright. We don't have those things, specifically, folks, but you know what we do have? Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.

I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don't normally get to express.

I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.

As a comedy nerd, I get a lot out of the podcast because I'm genuinely interested in the people I'm talking to.

You can't touch the strippers. Why are you paying to not touch someone? That is weird. How do you win in that situation? That is like walking into a deli, starving, and being like, 'Here's $300 - can I stare at the roast beef? Better yet, I'll sit down in this chair and you can mash it around my mouth and balls.